…even if she’s not very smart.
This week, Brent and Caite were the downfall of the lesbians. We knew this was coming for weeks – Caite has been talking about the elimination of the lesbians with more glee than a new mom describing the first time her baby smiled. Only, you know, more vindictive. It wasn’t because Caite saw the lesbians as particularly threatening. Caite was simply holding a grudge against the lesbians, and Louie and Michael took advantage of that by convincing her that the lesbians were a threat.
There isn’t a lot of strategy that goes into running The Amazing Race, and I like that. I watch Survivor to see cunning, strategy and backstabbing. But this was a brilliant move on the part of the detectives. They’re an obvious threat, and by working Brent and Caite the way they did, they ensured that a team they found to be threatening would be u-turned and not themselves. It was smart.Caite will take a lot of heat for getting so psyched up to u-turn a team that actually wasn’t that threatening, and had yet to even win a leg. I get it. But I don’t hate Caite. I hate the U-turn.
To me, the U-turn and the non-elimination legs are the Hidden Immunity Idol of The Amazing Race. A facet of the game that’s meant to create suspense, but instead just rewards undeserving players and hurts the strong. Would Russell be so successful on Survivor if he’d played in a season that didn’t have hidden immunity idols? I doubt it. Would Joe and Heidi and the lesbians still be in the competition if they hadn’t be u-turned? It’s very likely, and it’s a little unfair.
I respect teams who get to the U-turn and don’t use it. They’re in the lead, so let the chips fall where they may. The only time I would use it, if I were on the race, would be if I were in second-last place and felt I had to U-turn the team behind me to avoid elimination.
So did the lesbians deserve to be eliminated? No, but I don’t think the cowboys exactly deserve to still be competing in the race, either. But just as a team can be saved by non-elimination, a team can be done in by another team for no other reason than a personal grudge. That’s the game.It’s a good lesson in “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” (something, if you’ve read this blog, I obviously don’t practice). The only clip we’ve seen on The Amazing Race that shows the lesbians being rude to Caite wasn’t even face-to-face. The brothers (who made fun of Caite on their own) told Caite that the lesbians had been mocking her. I’ve got to wonder if a little more went on behind the scenes, at pit stops and in airports. If not, that was one hell of a grudge held by Caite. But in a race where another team can U-turn you and cause your elimination, it pays to be nice.
This was a great episode for me because my favorite team catapulted to the front of the pack with the fast forward. Unlike the U-turn and the non-elimination leg, I actually like the fast forward. It takes skill. Teams have to decide if it’s prudent to go for it or not, and they have to complete the task – which is usually pretty difficult.
All the teams had to take a bus and a train to Singapore. On the bus, Caite rambled on as per usual about how she was “100% U-turning the lesbians”. “Because they’re lesbians?” asked Dan. Caite actually seemed a little surprised that someone would read into her statement like that. I actually don’t think Caite is U-turning the lesbians because of their sexual orientation. I just think she’s young, immature and sensitive about her Miss Teen USA public embarrassment and hates them for mocking her. She was also pretty psyched at the idea of being the last woman standing.
The lesbians tried to push through the other teams to get off the train first, but the other teams were having none of it. “Ladies get their way, bitches don’t,” one guy said. I mean, really Brandy and Carol? Did you really think all the other teams would be like “Oh go ahead, exit the train first, we’re not trying to win a million dollars or anything”? Come on. It didn’t matter anyway, because the lesbians screwed up the task enough that it didn’t matter when they got off the train. The teams had to find Amazing Race Asia host Allan Wu. While most of the teams were looking indoors, Dan and Jordan found him first and decided to go for the fast forward. It was a smart move.
Jordan and Dan headed to the fast forward, which Phil described as a “giant wheel of fortune” but I did not see Pat Sajak or Vanna White anywhere. It was actually a massive Ferris wheel, much like the London Eye.
Jordan and Dan had to ride the wheel up to the top, at 541 feet, then get out of their capsule and crawl to the next capsule. I’m not particularly scared of heights, but it did look really, really terrifying. At least bungee jumping happens quickly. Poor Jordan didn’t even know what the task was until he was up there. “I thought we were just going for a ride,” he said. Oh come on, Jordan. You’re an Amazing Race fan, you know better.
Jordan was terrified. His entire body was vibrating with fear as he crawled out onto the wheel. I was worried he wouldn’t be able to do it and they’d end up in last place. He kept telling himself “A million dollars. You’re in a race for a million dollars” as he made his way across the wheel, and it worked. He made it all the way across and summed up the experience with “I’m just surprised I didn’t pee myself”. Dan had an easier time with the task and described it as “amazing”.
The brothers made it to the pit stop well ahead of the other teams and arrived in first place, to deliver the funniest reaction to a first-place prize ever. They’d won a couple of motorbikes, Phil informed them. “There is no chance either of us would even step on that for a second,” Dan said. “Our mother would kill us,” Jordan added. Ha! Hilarious! Phil didn’t laugh, he clearly has never met a Jewish mom before. I bet the brothers will be able to sell their motorbikes to Michael and Louie.
In pounding the pavement, teams had to set up an ice cream sandwich station and sell 25 classic Singapore ice cream sandwiches. This was disgusting. In singapore, ice cream sandwiches are not delicious treats made of ice cream wedged between two cookie-like slabs of chocolate. Their ice cream sandwiches consist of ice cream wedged between two wafers and then wrapped in bread. BREAD! Not even special bread, white slices of Wonderbread! If there was ever an appropriate time for Phil to use his favorite word, “literally”, it was in describing this. They are literally sandwiches made of ice cream. Gross.
Originally, all the teams opted for drum. It was a tough choice, because both tasks seemed questionable. If you’re not rhythmically inclined, learning a drum routine could be difficult. But selling stuff relies a lot on factors outside of your own control.
Michael and Louie bailed on the drumming quickly, after Michael declared he has no rhythm and can’t even dance. “I’m white as white can be,” he said. They were “off like a prom dress”. Ha! Good one. The humor was totally lost on the kid, though. They detectives headed for the fast forward only to find out Dan and Jordan were in the process of completing it. Time to sell some ice cream and bread!
Brent and Caite were doing pretty well at the drumming. The cowboys struggled, but kept at it, despite Cord declaring “Music is one of those things that doesn’t come natural for us.” Neither is grammar, apparently. Balancing a large flagpole on one’s chin is a much more useful natural ability anyway.
The lesbians bailed on their first kid, because apparently he was going to fast. He was so cute though! I got the feeling that neither Brandy or Carol particularly care for children.
Brent and Caite were first to complete the task, followed by Carol and Brandy and eventually Jet and Cord.
Michael and Louie reprimanded their cab driver for abandoning the car while they were checking to see if they could do the fast forward, but it ended up being a blessing. They guilted him into agreeing to purchase an ice cream sandwich, and he bought ten!
Meanwhile, Brent and Caite arrived at the clue box first (because Dan and Jordan scooted past it) and U-turned Carol and Brandy. I thought Caite might actually throw up from excitement. When Carol and Brandy arrived and saw what Brent and Caite had done, they were furious. “She’s an idiot, she’s on YouTube to prove it,” snarled Brandy. True. “She U-turned us cause you’re prettier than she is,” Carol barked. Um, much less true. Then we were treated to a lovely video confessional where Brandy did an over-the-top Caite as Cruella Deville impression (no wonder her acting career has gone nowhere) and compared Brent to Forrest Gump. Gee, I wonder why Caite didn’t like them?
Carol and Brandy had to turn back and complete the ice cream challenge as the other teams headed to the road block.
After selling the remainer of their ice cream sandwiches to their cab driver, Michael and Louie were thrilled to see that Carol and Brandy had been U-turned. “We trained our little wolf cubs,” they chuckled. It was well-played. Had Carol and Brandy not been U-turned, it very well could have been lights-out for the detectives.
Brent went first, and got it right away. He and Caite headed to the last location, the MegaZip, where they went on an amazing zip line ride. They ended up in second place – did anyone ever think Brent and Caite would be so successful this season? They’re in the top four, and they were the first team to complete the detour and roadblock this leg!
Brandy and Carol bickered for the entire ice cream challenge. “I refuse to be in the sun,” Brandy sniped to Carol. What are you doing on the race, Brandy? You don’t like heights. You don’t like dirt. You don’t like sunshine. You don’t like your own girlfriend. What do you like?
Jet and Cord finished the road block third, as the failed fast forward and selling of ice cream sandwiches had set the detectives back a bit. I was shocked, they actually took off their hats for the zip line. They don’t take their hats off for bungee jumping, but they do for a zip line? Anyway, they arrived at the mat in third place – not as strong as last week, but respectable nonetheless. It wasn’t their leg, as they told Phil, “The closest thing to a musical instrument that we play is the radio.”
Bertram van Munster, that old trickster, tried to make it seem like the detectives and the lesbians were in a race for last place but it was obvious the lesbians had no chance of catching up. Michael used his little clicky counter thingy (the official term for the thing used to track baseball pitches) and counted the correct number of chain links. They arrived at the mat in fourth place, and the lesbians were last.
Not only did Carol and Brandy not have anything nice to say about Brent and Caite upon elimination, they didn’t have anything nice to say for each other either. I didn’t expect any sort of “no hard feelings” speech from them, but a few words on what it was like to run the race together would have been slightly redeeming. But no, they went out in true Brandy and Carol style – abrasive and self-involved.
Was it a stupid move for Brent and Caite to U-turn the lesbians? Maybe. It was certainly unnecessary. But plenty of teams have been eliminated in the same way, and at the end of the day Carol and Brandy were eliminated fair and square. Their poor sportsmanship far outshone Brent and Caite’s low IQ’s when it came to being unlikable.
Well guys, we’re down to a final four! Did I hear correctly, or are we not getting a new episode for another two weeks? That sucks. Who do you want to win, and who do you think will win? I’m rooting for the brothers, but I think the million bucks could go to anyone at this point. And were you on Team Beauty Queen, Team Lesbian, or Team I Hate Them Both?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m glad to see the people i like still in there, the ones i would like in the end are the cowboys, the cops I don’t mind dan and jordan either i think their funny.
I’m gla d you took this over Jill maybe something good can finally be done here, good luck.
Damnnn …….. i could have saved myelf the time of watching and just Jills take on the race ……….. NOT!
I like watching the egomaniacs every Sunday night!
The girls pissed off Caite way back in the first or second episode, i forget exactly what is was, but i do remember there was some hostility.
The non-elimination comes with a price, the speed bump! Some of them seem simple and some like the one Joe & Heidi got in the battlefield challenge are tougher and do bite your butt.
I do feel the fast forward was inserted too early in the days events, they got to bypass everything. Usually you have to get past one read block before the ff comes into play. They had to have gained over 4 or 5 hours of time. Seems excessive.
Also, I’ve noticed this year that some teams have made out like bandits while others got the dumbest taxi drivers in the world. I don’t think that being stuck with a shitty taxi driver should cost you the game. If they are doing their own driving thats another story.
Hey Jill, just how much grammer are ya gonna need to ride them thar bulls for a living, sides, i dun hit my head 5 or 6 times od fer this year.
“I was shocked, they actually took off their hats for the zip line. They don’t take their hats off for bungee jumping, but they do for a zip line?” I thought I was the only one that noticed that!
I guess whatever you bring in your backpack is legal in the game …. a counter, who would have thought of bringing it?
Finally, I hate the editing in this game ….. there is no way to tell who actually had a lead or how close a finish it will be. You don’t know their arrival times until the next leg when they leave for the next destination.
Yep… that pretty much covers it.
Sal, you wrote a book to, jt, what happened ?:roll:
The only ones i would mind winning are the cowboys and the cops, i find dan and jordan funny as well, But i hate brent and caite, i really hope they are not in the end, it was funny when they uturned the lesbos, they were so bitter, but caite is probably more of a BITCH than those two put together, I can only imagine what she is like in in a beauty contest, they were right she does kind of get that cruella de ville look on her face, i say caite could possibly be more evil than carol and brandy, and them i really hated so bitter when they left talk about spoiled sports.
the amazing race was a great show, it really is to bad brent and caite are still there, i really hate caite, probably as much as carol and brandy, anybody but them would be good to win, but my faves are the cowboys and the cops, they are really going to have to haul ass the next time if it weren’t for a nonelmination round ,they would be gone ,and that would be a shame they are great players.
+ 
+ 